Journal Entry 3-22-08

 

I have been feeling so overwhelmed by all that’s going on with Easter services and to be honest all I want is to be done with it all. I feel as if I have nothing more to give, nor do I really want to give. When I arrived this morning and went to enter into the meeting tent for services I noticed 3 little boys sitting outside and rather than go into services I decided to play with the boys. I recognized the boys from one of our churches, Ntsintsa. Two of them were brothers; one was probably not quite a year and the other 2 were probably 3 or 4 years old.

 

The youngest little boy started to cry when I gave the other 2 boys Lifesavers and I knew he was too young to have hard candies. So I picked him up to try to soothe him, but it only worked for a short while. In the midst of this Make Sikuwayne, one of our pastor’s wives, came over and greeted me and had some of the sweetest words to share with me. She said, “I know sometimes we are busy and we may act like we really don’t care, but I wanted you to know how much we really do appreciate you. You are a part of us now and we love you.” Tears filled my eyes as my heart was overwhelmed with emotions and simply I couldn’t help myself as I let one of my loose to run down my cheek. Swazi’s very rarely show emotion, especially crying and others crying definitely makes most feel quite uncomfortable. However, I didn’t care because I knew at that moment it was a gift from God and his special way of showing me that He did indeed hear my prayers from earlier in the morning. It was as if God was gently hugging me and saying, “Yes,  you can go on. I will give you strength to preserve and finish the race. I will give you the capacity to love beyond all you could ever know.”

 

Thank you, Lord. For you are good and mercies endure for forever.